No. 009: To My Dad
Fantin-Latour's Roses (1884)
"You have done enough and you are enough. You have been so strong and deserve to rest."
Dad,
I have no idea where to begin this letter. There are so many things I want to say and tell you, yet I can’t seem to find the words that feel right. I don’t think there ever could be. Everything seems like too much, too heavy all at the same time.
I’m sorry I have not been there enough during this time. You deserved to have me closer. I’ve been so selfish in processing how to lose you and that is not fair to you.
Thank you for giving me so many memories to keep with me. So many flood me right now that it feels impossible to pick the perfect ones to capture who you are to me. The way you do a little happy dance when you’re eating something you really enjoy. I’ve always loved making food for you in hopes I would get to see your excitement! All the girlie Christmas presents you happily played with us always felt so special. I know Holli and I both carry a little piece of your humor with us, thank you for keeping us funny! We learned from the best how to crack a sarcastic joke!
With every great memory I have of you as a Father nothing can compare to the unbelievable, wonderful Grandpa you are to Ben. I could not have wished for a better person to show him what a loving, caring, fun Grandpa could be. Watching you be silly with him and so present in his life will always be my favorite memories of you. He loves you tremendously and that makes me the most happy.
I’m not sure what the coming days will look like but I want you to feel at peace. You have done enough and you are enough. You have been so strong and deserve to rest. Your love will be with me always. I love you, dad, today and always.
Love, Your Punkey Doodle
Submitted by: K